
Thompson Law Blog
Financial Infidelity- What's your partner not telling you?
Are you keeping a secret about your debt? Are you keeping it from your spouse, your children....maybe even from yourself. Financial hardship and debt is a taboo subject. Of course everyone wants to hear if you're doing well in life. We readily "brag" on a booming business, a new promotion, the birth of a child. What we don't disclose to one another is our debt (even though nearly everyone's got it), and this can ruin relationships.
We see it everyday. A couple comes to us as their financial "last straw". They've done all they can do and need to seek the financial relief that only a bankruptcy can provide. Once we start diving into the credit reports and billing statements it can be a shock to yourself and your spouse just exactly how big the problem is. Sometimes this flash of reality helps ease the decision to file bankruptcy in the first place. It's always a good idea to have a reality check with yourself when it comes to your finances. You can do this by pulling a credit report (FREE) from www.annualcreditreport.com and reviewing just exactly what's being reported. Adding up your total liabilities can be the best eye opening experience.
Another suggestion for keeping debt "real" in your family is to share your income and expenses with your spouse. For whatever reason partners tend to keep separate checking/savings accounts. Perhaps you split your income and deposit half into a household account and save some for your own money. Pooling your money together allows both spouses to know exactly what they have at any given time. It also allows you to know just where the money is going.
The second suggestion for keeping debt "real" in your family is to share the discussion of money with your kids. In my day a $50 at Christmas was a HUGE deal. Nowadays, kids are asking for $200-$300 gaming systems as if money is no object. Don't hide the expenses of life at any age. It's ok to say NO and it's ok to tell your loved one that it's too expensive or not in your budget. Teach your kids how to save!
Any form of infidelity can be devastating in a relationship. Get real with yourself and get real with your partner about money.
Jan 12, 2012 8:28 AM
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